Last night, as I was browsing Pinterest, I came across this quote. I immediately "pinned" it and made a mental note that I would display this somewhere on my desk. Well, after today, it's just not as fitting as I thought it would be. Today, I realized that I have been waiting around for almost 7 years and for what? I am watching everything I want slip away and am at the point of giving up. I try to stay positive but time after time, I keep getting a slap in the face for even showing an interest in things. It's really hard to do what I do, knowing that it's a waste of my time.

You know, I have always wanted to do something meaningful with my life, help others and just overall be a good person. Currently, I don't feel that what I do has any meaning, any purpose. The hardest part is figuring out where to go from here.

It's not that I don't like what I do, it's that I am stuck in a rut. I can have the career, be a mom and still be that person that I want to be but with a career that is sucking the life out of me, I can't do it! I'm not the mom I want to be, I'm not even the person I want to be, much less am I in a place to help or inspire others or be that so called "good person."

I honestly don't think that I am a bad person. Have I made mistakes? Of course! Have I learned from them? Absolutely! But deep down, there has just got to be something wrong with me. Some reason why I am overlooked for everything, in every aspect of my life. And I try, I really do, to be a good friend, a good co-worker, a good person. So what is it about me that makes people say, "oh not her"?

I apologize for my "poor me" post but am feeling just a bit down and am looking for anything encouraging or just a way out. And with a vague post like this, I don't expect much but I am not allowed to say what I really want on here.

I'm tired of having to hold back my feelings, tired of saying and doing the things that everyone wants me to say or do. One day, I'll get the "balls" to say how I really feel but until then...I'm dealing with it! HA!

Pineapple Dump Cake

The other night I was in the mood for something sweet. I hadn't made a dessert to go with dinner in FOREVER, so I figured I could come up with something!

My pantry was very limited on any sort of sweets but I did have a yellow cake mix and a jar of pineapple chunks! I figured I'd give it a go and see what I could come up with.

Ingredients

1 box yellow cake mix
1 jar pineapple chunks
2 eggs
Cinnamon and Sugar Mix

Directions

Mix together cake mix, pineapple (with juice) and eggs. Pour into greased 9x13 pan.

Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on top. (I use pre-mixed but you could mix it up yourself)

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Serve warm with ice cream on top or let cool for a delicious treat!

Not the best photo but I had to snap it fast before Avari devoured it! And yes, that is a Christmas plate!

For being very few ingredients and easy to make, it is really tasty!!

Enjoy!

Garden Update

I am definitely not having the best of luck with my garden. When we first planted, we had full sun. Wanna know why? The trees hadn't bloomed yet! DUH! Don't laugh...I'm new at this!

So, now that the trees have bloomed, our sun is minimal at best. We get pretty good morning sun and a slight amount of afternoon/evening sun, but no direct, overhead sun.

I do have a few plants that are doing really good. I have some tomatoes in pots and guess what, we have about 15 tomatoes on it!! My pickle plants that are planted in pots are doing awesome too! My beans, which are planted in my raised bed, are coming up nicely but as for the rest, not so much.

We have debated to just give up after this crop, cut down some trees, move the garden for the next crop, lots of things. I think we have finally decided to cut down the limbs that are blocking the sun. Only problem...there's a power line running right underneath! UGH!

We did manage to cut down a few of the limbs that we could reach and were far enough away from the line to not get electrocuted! I've now just got to call the City to come out and cut down the rest...wonder how long that will take?!?

All in all, it's has not been the best experience but I have loved watching what is growing, grow and can not wait until my tomatoes are ready! I am craving homemade salsa like crazy!!

We have Tomatoes!

 And Pickles!

And Green Beans!

Looks a little skimpy but for our first one, I'm super proud!!

Wordless Wednesday - Blast from the past!!