Sunday, March 21, 2010

Lazy Sunday

There is so much I really could be doing today but just down right don't feel like it. Kinda in a funk today. I cleaned a bit yesterday and so far today I have got dinner in the crock pot. Being off all last week sick just makes me want to relax one last day before heading back to work tomorrow. Avari and Jacob are napping and I'm left with nothing to do....well except clean, but the mess will still be there tomorrow. I really hate that it is cold outside again. I was so hoping to get my potted plants redone. They all froze from the harsh winter we had. It will have to wait until Tuesday when it will be warm outside again.

Still been looking online at houses. I have found one that I really like but since Jacob just started a new job last week, we have to give it some time before we can buy. Hopefully within the next couple of months if we can pay down our debt and save quite a bit of money. I know we will never completely be debt free as we are drowning in medical bills, but it would be nice to have something to show for the work that we do. All in good time I guess. I refuse to put ourselves in a situation that wouldn't be good so when the time is right, we will buy and hopefully the house of our dreams will be waiting for us.

Other than that, it's just another Lazy Sunday. It is a beautiful day outside so maybe, just maybe it will warm up enough to get out there and do something. If not, a good lifetime movie and some quality family time will do just fine.

I think about Layla often and am continuing to pray for the Marsh Family.

Until next time......

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Saturday Morning Routine...

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was check twitter for an update from Layla's mom. My heart sank when there was nothing. It had been 14 hours since the last update. Did that mean something happened? Lord, please tell me nothing happened, was all I could think. I pushed on and made myself get out of bed to begin my morning checks for work. Throughout the hour I was working, I think I checked twitter every two minutes just hoping for that update. When eventually, I finished, I decided to shift my focus to getting house work done and hoping that the next time I checked, the update would be there.

This is how everyday is for me. I check first thing when I wake up in the morning and it's the last thing I do before going to sleep at night, with several checks throughout my day. I often question myself as to why I am so consumed with this little girl. Could it be that it's because Avari is the same age and I couldn't imagine if it were me? Or is it just the mother in me? I don't have the answer to that. All I know is that I think about Layla all the time and pray for her healing.

She has brought me back to God. Before this, I prayed, but not like I should. Today I find myself praying several times a day for Layla. I also find myself questioning him also and as hard as this is to say, questioning his existance. In my heart I know and believe in God but my mind seems to think differently sometimes when I try to wrap my head around all of the ugliness in the world. All in all though, I pray. I believe. Miracles do happen, right? I just want so bad for this miracle to happen, for her to be healed. I believe that this is the hope that we as her followers need. To know that miracles do happen to those who believe.

Back to Saturday morning. I finish work, and begin to sort laundry and get started on that. Avari is watching cartoons and drinking milk. I make breakfast and continue on with my day. Granted it's only 10:42am. I found myself getting frustrated with Avari earlier for something little and had to take a step back for a second and remember that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I try so hard lately to not take for granted the little things, no matter how much they frustrated me in the past, and try to enjoy them now. Avari is my life, my world. So today will be her day. Playing outside on this beautiful day, a trip to the park, her favorite for lunch (mcdonalds of course) and just spending time together as a family! The Saturday morning routine is out the window for today. Laundry and cleaning can wait. It's the moments with family that matter the most.

Oh and Shanna did update twitter and I am at peace knowing that Layla had a restful night. Will be watching for future update and continuing to pray.

I am off to spend the day with my family and make the most of today and everyday to come!!

Thank You Layla for teaching me what life is really about.

Until next time.......

Moments Like These......