Monday, December 19, 2011

Avari's Candyland Birthday

Saturday we celebrated Avari's 4th birthday with a Candyland themed party!! A big thank you to everyone who came and celebrated with her. She had such a great time.

"Welcome to Avari's Candyland"

Avari's awesome cake made by
Olde Town Bakery

Avari posing with the cake/candy table

Candy Buffet Sign

More Candy Buffet

And again...

Banner over the cake table

Candy Buffet

More Cake/Candy table

Family Photo with Avari being silly

"4" with buttons

Hanging on the front door

Sign from Candyland game. We had all of the diferent ones!

Opening presents!

Playing with her new Zhu-Zhu pet accessories! It took up most of our dining room!

We also celebrated Christmas with Jacob's mom, sister and aunt. We were so happy that they were able to come down and celebrate with us and we enjoyed having them! Just wish it could have been a longer visit!

Happy 4th Birthday Sweet Girl! Hope your day was extra special!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Happy Birthday!!

I cannot believe that 4 years has gone by so fast! Where has the time gone?

I can still remember the drive into the hospital on the day she was born and everything that happened up to her arrival.

It was the best day of my life!

I am so lucky to have this little girl to call mine!

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!!

Mommy and Daddy Love You!!

Her birthday 4 years ago!

Opening presents this morning for her birthday!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Avari's Class Party

Today Avari's class had their Christmas Party. I was one of 5 hostesses and everything went extremely well. We did a cookie decorating party and they loved it! I, of course, took my camera but left the memory card at home but was able to snap a few pictures with my phone!

I missed the actual decorating part! LOL

Other half of the class!

Mrs. Claus came for a visit!

Class photo with Mrs. Claus!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Life The Past Few Weeks

Even though the past couple of weeks have been rough, we are making it. Jacob still has not found a job but I've come to terms that things will be hard for awhile. We are still having Christmas and Avari's birthday. I am working some overtime and Jacob is doing odd and end jobs. No matter what, all that really matters is Family and we are happy and doing good!

Here's a look at life over the past few weeks!

Avari with all her Friends at the Downtown Christmas Parade for her class
They were "The Polar Express"

Riding with Mommy throught the parade

My Uncle Tank received Firefighter of the Year 2011.
We are so proud of him!

Avari after the program on the fire truck.

Making muffins with Mommy! We even wore our aprons!

She loved mixing it but really loved licking the bowl the most!

Our Christmas tree!

Our door hanger we purchased at the school's silent auction this past year.
Works perfect for our stockings. Avari's is missing, her's was getting her name added.

Avari decorating the tree!

Avari being silly!

Ready for her 1st dance recital.

Avari and Daddy before her Christmas Dance Recital.

Our Elf Kooz and one of his many antics!

She was super surprised with this one!

One of my Christmas Crafts I made.

Avari's teacher gifts this year!

All in all, times are tough but we will get through and continue to make lots of good memories along the way!!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Tough Decisions

My posts keep getting fewer and far between. I've been pretty down in the dumps the last 2 weeks for sure.

Tonight we have to make a tough decision. Whether or not to cancel Christmas and Avari's birthday. With Jacob losing his job, the money just isn't there. Majority of gifts had already been bought and money spent and invitations sent to the birthday party before he lost his job. I have never in my life had to cancel or skip anything but this year, I think we just may. I'm debating whether or not to just take down all of the decorations and just pretend that Christmas this year is just another day. We already know all of the gifts have to be returned so why have the tree if there's nothing to go under it? Avari's hopes are already up about Christmas but we can give her 1 thing now, pretend it's Christmas and then take everything down.

As for her birthday, that's just going to be a loss. All the money already spent on decorations and invitations, a cute out fit for her to wear, all of it, now trash. I even ordered a specialty cake for the first time this year and have yet to cancel it, it's just too embarassing to do. I know that we can't afford this cake now but it was supposed to be special. Our whole family, especially Avari, has been through so much this past year that this was supposed to be something good in this horrible year.

I have no clue where to go from here or what to do. At the end of this month, we will have no money for anything. Everything will be behind, and we have been working so hard to get caught up. We even had a plan for next year, to get out of debt and now all that's down the drain.

Sometimes I wonder why God hates me so much to put me through almost 26 years of hell. What few good memories and times I've had don't even compare to the hell that I have been through. I'm just tired of trying so damn hard to constantly be crapped on. I am done! I give up! I don't expect much. I just want to be able to provide food and shelter and a nice birthday and Christmas for my family. I don't have a fancy house or car but I work hard for what I do have. Now everything I have worked for, will probably be sold or taken away.

The saddest part is that Avari will have to suffer. I will be pulling her from her dance class at the end of this month. I am going to have to find other options for her schooling. And I guess she'll have to learn to live off of the food we have in the house. She won't be able to be a picky eater anymore.

I just never thought that I would be here. I have tried so hard to give her a better life than what I had. Hell, I even have a good job but it's not enough.

Jacob thinks we should ask for help from our parents, but I'm not doing it. We already owe them so much money from helping us in the past that I don't want to increase our debt any further.

I don't know what to do! I'm just going to go crawl in my hole and hope that this nightmare disappears!