I have come to the conclusion that what I am doing with my life(job) is not fulfilling. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and what I do but I don't get that fulfillment from it. I so want to do something to help people, especially Children battling that aweful disease we call Cancer!! All of this is stemming from a little boy I have been following on caringbridge.com named Dax. He was 2 1/2 years old and passed away this morning. He was only a couple of months older than Avari. I couldn't imagine life without her or what Dax's parents must be going through. It's not fair, not fair that he never had a chance at life. Not fair that Cancer has taken so many children away from their parents and away from chance at life. Dax was not the only one I have been following. I think it is a total of 7 or 8 journals that I follow, 4 of which their child has passed on. As I read these journals daily, each one talks of another child that is suffering as their child is and asking for prayer requests. I never realized how many Children out there suffer with this daily. And what have I done to help? Make a small donation? But how does that compare to what they have to endure everyday? So I ask myself what can I do to help? I would love to be able to work in a place the makes a difference such as St. Jude and be a part of something real. Sitting at this desk has no meaning. I am not helping anyone. I am not making a difference. So now a new journey will begin for me. I'm not quite sure how yet or what I will pursue but I know in my heart that this is what I want to do.
Dax's mom posted a journal 2 hours before he passed and a part of it really hit home with me about what the conversation was with the doctor:
"Our doctor sat with us today and told us a short story that was right on the money. He said he was eating lunch and looked down at a magazine with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on it. The headline read will a baby save their marriage. He sat in silence for a minute and said, "who cares." As we sit here and look at our son struggling to survive it seems so silly. Imagine if our society put the money into childhood cancer research rather than celebrities."
That statement right there is soooo true! If only we could make the rest of the world see this, maybe just maybe, something more would be done to help all Cancer patients.
Now I'll admit that I have gotten wrapped up in gossip magazines, etc. But from this point forward, I will not buy another gossip magazine, or anything that will put more money in these selfish peoples pockets. Why not write a true story about the struggles of cancer and all that have to go through it. Instead of a gossip magazine how about a real life magazine? Maybe that's what I will do, start an online magazine about real people in their real lives, struggling daily with cancer or any other problems they may be facing.
All I can ask now is to keep all of these kids in your prayers.........
*RIP Angel Dax*
